Bade khuloos se hum aitbaar karte hai... )
Ye dil ye paagal dil mera, kyun bujh gaya.. aawargi
Is dasht mein ek shehar tha, wo kya hua... aawargi..
Kal shab mujhe beshakl ki, awaaz ne chauka diya
Maine kaha tu kaun hai, usne kaha ... aawargi...
Ek tu ki sadiyon se mere, humraah bhi humraaz bhi
Ek main ki tere naam se, naa aashna....awaargi
Ek ajnabi jhauke ne jab, poocha mere ghum ka sabab
Sehra ki bheegi ret par, maine likha.... aawargi
Ye dard ki tanhaiyan, ye dasht ka veeran safar
Hum log to ukta gaye, apni suna... aawargi...
Logon bhala us shehar mein, kaise jiyenge hum jahan
Ho jurm tanha sochna, lekin saza... aawargi
Kal raat tanha chaand ko, dekha tha maine khwab mein
'Mohsin' mujhe raas aayegi, shayad sada.... aawargi
Written by the Urdu poet Mohsin Naqvi, this ghazal has trickled down generations and finally attained unparalleled popularity when sung by Ghulam Ali in his expressive and emotive style.
The thing that immediately strikes you about this ghazal, is that its refrain is conveyed in just one word. 'Aawargi'.
A beautiful Urdu word, expressing a state of being, rather than any particular feeling. 'Aawargi' is a very difficult word to interpret, but the closest one can get to explaining it is the mind being in a state of a mystic, erratic, a trifle sexually charged, somewhat spiritual, wanderlust and finding a fulfilling solitude at the end of it all.
It is a state of separating oneself from the world, almost enjoying the carefree, self-imposed solitude. It is not be confused with a sad loneliness, though most people interpret it as that.
It is almost a feeling where you begin to not care about being alone, and enjoy the fact that you are on a never-ending search of a very spiritual yet selfish fulfillment.
It is a supreme state of mind where one begins to enjoy and care for the journey, and not the end destinations.
Coming to the opening lines, which is very detached from the rest of the couplets, but yet sets the stage and the background for this piece of poetry in just 2 lines:
(Bade busook se duniya fareb karti hai
Bade khuloos se hum aitbaar karte hai... )
The world kept betraying me with great craftiness,
And yet, each time, with great sincerity, I chose to trust its ways
This really sets the back story. The poet says the world has repeatedly broken his trust, with a lot of sadistic skill and zeal, and yet he kept going back to its ways, in the hope that one day, he will find his place in it. But now, he's realized his naivete, and has decided to bank on his own ways to find solitude that will eventually lead him to happiness.
Ye dil ye paagal dil mera, kyun bujh gaya.. aawargi
Is dasht mein ek shehar tha, wo kya hua... aawargi..
This crazy heart of mine, oh, why did has it faded away.... or is it just the nothingness at the end of my wanton ways
There used to be a bustling town in this desert, what happened to it.... (its faded away too)... or is it just the nothingness at the end of my wanton ways
'Wanton' is used in a rather different interpretation here. The poets feels an uncontrolled desire to search for happiness (or love), and that desire often sets him on a lonely path to nothingness. "Aawargi". And yet, he enjoys that nothingness.
Over years, he says that his heart has faded away finding 'nothing' at the end of that path, but he's always enjoyed the journey. He says his heart used to be filled with emotions of a hundred kind (is dasht mein ek shehar tha), but now all that exists is a state where he can't feel anything at all. All he feels is "aawargi", a state where he is so carefree that nothing else matters, that nothing else registers.
Kal shab mujhe beshakl ki, awaaz ne chauka diya
Maine kaha tu kaun hai, usne kaha ... aawargi...
Last night (shab), I was startled and woken up by the voice of a stranger
I asked the stranger who he was, and he replied ... "I am the solitude at the end of your wandering ways"
A beautifully put couplet that's difficult to explain literally. It has to be taken a bit figuratively to understand its true meaning. The poet says that last night (kal shab), he heard an unknown voice (beshakl ki awaaz) and he was woken up by it. It a very subtle way, the poet conveys that he is beginning to realize what is happening to him, his state of 'aawargi'. And when he asked his inner voice who it was, it replied back to him saying, 'I am the strange yet happy solitude you feel because of your unending desires'. These lines suggest that poet is beginning to wake up to the cause of his inner enlightenment and that slowly, he's beginning to realize that he isn't lonely or empty, just happy in his own space.
Ek tu ki sadiyon se mere, humraah bhi humraaz bhi
Ek main ki tere naam se, naa aashina....awaargi
For decades, you have been both my companion as well as my confidante
But I have failed to recognize you as my true destination.... oh my insatiable ways
These are perhaps the most astute lines of the ghazal, the intricate wordplay conveying the true essence of this piece of writing. The poet says that for years and years, he's been at a place which has given him nothing but happiness, but he's been so caught up in his worldly ways, that he's failed to recognize 'happiness' which was sitting right beside him all this while! Its really a way of saying 'Happiness is a butterfly, the more you go after it, the more it eludes you'. On a deeper note, the poet suggests that happiness lies within one self, that a person is his own companion and confidante, and if we fail to recognize (na aashna) that person within, it will always lead to sadness. He now realizes that his quest for the unattainable("awaargi") is his "companion", his "confidante" and his road to happiness.
Ek ajnabi jhauke ne jab, poocha mere ghum ka sabab
Sehra ki bheegi ret par, maine likha.... aawargi
When the voice of a stranger, carried by the wind, asked me the reason for my sadness
On the wet sands of my deserted heart, I wrote, it is not sadness, it is my... "Awaargi"
The poet says that he was confronted by the voice of a stranger, who asked him why he wasn't in the best state of affairs, as to why he was filled with sorrows. To the stranger, the poet's state of 'awaargi' is unrecognizable and not quite understandable. The poet tries to explain this to the weeping stranger ( the stranger's tears wetting the sands of the lonely desert (his state of mind as perceived by the stranger) ) ( sehra ki bheegi ret par), inscribing the words "awaargi", on the wet sands. He tells the stranger that it isn't sorrow that he is experiencing, but a state of detachment and a fulfilling solitude that he's found peace with.
Ye dard ki tanhaiyan, ye dasht ka veeran safar
Hum log to ukta gaye, apni suna... aawargi...
These long spells of loneliness caused by the pain, these long journeys along deserted terrains
I am now tired of all this, what about you... my insatiable desires?!!?
Its perhaps the most complex couplet to interpret. Imagine a dreamy, melancholic evening. A beautiful ambiance offset by soft music and accompanied by glasses of fine wine. And now think of Amitabh Bacchan!! Well, wait a minute... what?!?! Yeah.. Remember Silsila.. 'Main aur meri tanhai... aksar ye baatein karte hain'!! That is exactly what these lines are!! Imagine the poet having a conversation with the embodiment of the state he is in... a living person called "Awaargi", who resides within him, has become his friend. He's made the poet go on endless journeys of unattainable conquests and caused him much loneliness and pain. The poet is now fed up (ukta gaye) of these unending rituals to find love and happiness and casually asks Aawargi, "What about you ,my friend?".
These lines suggest that the poet has found inner peace, has made friends with his "awaargi", realizing but being satisfied with the fact that although he may find happiness on the journey with his "awaargi", he may never find an end destination.
Logon bhala us shehar mein, kaise jiyenge hum jahan
Ho jurm tanha sochna, lekin saza... aawargi
How am I supposed to live in a town
Where the thought of solitude is a crime, but the punishment .... is "awaargi"
A splendid ode to the ways of the real world. The poet says that its difficult, and nearly impossible, to live in a set up where it is a crime to think about being alone and detached, and yet the punishment does not result in a solution to things, but a push into a deeper state of aloofness. It reflects the harsh realities of the world we live in and how everything is considered normal only if we interact with the world and the people who live in it. Once a person chooses to withdraw and keep to himself, the world often misinterprets his desires as 'insanity' and subjects him to a lifetime of aloofness.
The poet says that although he's found peace within and in his state of 'awaargi', its getting increasingly difficult for him to stay in that space, given the way the world interprets him.
It is important to realize here that to the world, 'awaargi' is nothing but aloofness, but to the poet, it is a supreme state of a beautiful solitude.
Kal raat tanha chaand ko, dekha tha maine khwab mein
'Mohsin' mujhe raas aayegi, shayad sada.... aawargi
Last night, a lonely but shining moon appeared in my dreams
And an inner voice spoke to me ," For you, 'Mohsin', "awaargi" is your happiness"
The final couplet from the ghazal. The 'maqta'. Where the poet uses the famous tool of "takhallus', or mentioning his own name in the final "sher", thereby claiming credit to this piece of writing as well as summarizing his feelings to himself.
The poet says that last night his mind was filled with the dream of beautiful moon shining brightly in the sky, but it seemed alone (tanha) in the vast expanse of the night sky. That image lingered in his mind, and made him realize that perhaps he's destined to be in the state of "awaargi" forever and "awaargi" is his destination and not just the route to his happiness.
"Awaargi" is his happiness.
"Awaargi"... a gem, a piece of writing and singing that leaves something new to interpretation on each revisit!!
